Independence Day

July 4th. Independence day. Fireworks. Happy celebrations of our independence, freedoms, rights liberties. For most folks a normal 4th is spent with family and friends, relaxing, and having fun. Watching sports, having BBQ’s, and enjoying fireworks. For Dad, it was a little different. His favorite grilled dinner was replaced by a light tan liquid (it almost looks like a watered down poor excuse for a chai) being pumped directly into his stomach. Not really the meal any of us want. Dad missed hearing the sounds of the bombs bursting in air. Instead he got to listen to the random bells and beeps of ICU gadgets smothered out by the rhythmic pumping of his IV. His vision of the rocket’s red glare would have been of 4th of July’s past, when he was either lighting his own explosive creations or watching others. Last night, the only red glare in his room was the blinking LED’s from the many machines reading, watching, and carefully monitoring his progress. Dad’s fight for freedom from the tubes is still waging on. He has made so many improvements in the last few days, my head spins. Dad is almost entirely breathing on his own now. For the last 2 days he has spent some very good time in the sitting up position. This makes it easier for him to breathe and recover. Dad’s heart, lungs, and tummy as well as the rest of his internals are working great and doing what they do best. Our celebrations? Dad is responding to questions. Dad is able to sort of communicate with us. Dad is awake more and more. Dad’s body, bruised and battered, is recovering.

Prayer requests for today.
Dad goes for some more tests and scans to see more about his neck. He has indicated that it is causing him some pain and discomfort. We hopefully will learn more about his vision and how his eyes are healing in the very near future. As of right now, Dad is communicating to us that he cannot see at all. For me personally? I have been surviving through this ordeal. I am “fine.” I am beginning to think that fine is another 4 letter F word. When asked how I am it is the word that rolls off my tongue. My wife reminds me that fine stands for Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. I am not fine. How could I be? I am struggling between the transition of dad and husband to my young family and Son to my father who desperately needs to know I am standing beside him. I am torn between standing with Dad and looking for work. There are not enough hours in the day to be all I need to be. I’m tired. I’m frazzled. I am, above all, NOT fine. BUT, I know that my God has not changed. He is that same today as he was before Dad's accident.

Desert Song

Brooke Fraser

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow