Usually one finishes that sentence with, fun, painting the house, exciting adventures, making applesauce... You fill in the blank. Mine was a bit different. Many emotions followed by dazed and confused looks. As you know, Monday was supposed to be a simple day of Dad going to his eye guys for a follow up from his last eye surgery. Apparently, God had scheduled some different events for us to weather through.
The first event lined up was just after 4 am. God called Kisser Gram (my Grandma, Mom’s mom) home. Sleeping soundly and peacefully for the first time in many months, Gram heard the trumpets of heaven and left. When my phone rang, I just knew. Its not that it was an unusual time for my phone to ring. Often someone from the hospital calls or Dad calls, so I have become more adjusted to the after hours phone usage. But somehow the ringtone this time was different. If I could only differentiate when telemarketers called life would be, well, I would answer less irritating phone calls. But I digress. Hearing the news about Kisser Gram from Mom was difficult, but truthfully it was almost a relief. For I know Kisser Gram is in Heaven doing what she loved the most. Conversing with our Creator. So after some tears, prayers, and a scattering of emotions I composed myself enough so I could scramble out the door to meet dad at the hospital to take him to his “routine” follow up appointments for his eye.
My thoughts and emotions drifted as I drove over to the hospital, but I shook them away as I pulled in the parking lot. I didn't want to miss the good news about dad’s eyes. A wave of emotions flooded the room when the Doctor said, “oh” as he was looking through dad’s eye. Dad asked what was cause for worry before I could choke down the emotions. The retina surgery we just went through. The torture of keeping dad face down. The agony, was it all for nothing? The Doctor said hopefully we can get the tear to hold before it becomes to big and we lose any chance of vision. It was only a little tear, and the gas bubble placement won’t mean dad has to be face down this time. Good thing we caught it this soon. We need to repair this now. Surgery was scheduled for 6 hours then. I think I stood there like a stunned mullet, staring at the doctor. He asked me if we had any questions. All I could say was, “surgery again now?” “Yes,” he replied. OK.
Call mom. She’s dealing with funeral arrangements. Don’t call mom. As I asked myself, it was either out loud or Dad was thinking the same thing, because he asked me what I thought about calling mom. Dad’s thinking was remarkably clear and focused. He joked with me about who would be in more trouble if mom found out somehow without us telling her. It was a relief to have dad’s thoughts so clear.
The rest of the day and night was blurry as we rushed to the retina surgery center in Ashland and had Dad’s retina repaired again. Dad got to ride with the wonderful Mercy Flight folks back to his hospital room where we had a restless and uncomfortable sleep till 7 am Tuesday when we again saw the doctor for another follow up. This time Dad’s only restrictions are sleeping on his back, and no straining at all for about a week. Ok, we can handle that. now what? I am torn. Part of me is grateful God has so much faith in me, because I know He will not allow me more than what I can handle, however often times I wish there was less to carry. It’s a good thing I don’t have to do this alone. I just need to remember to give this to God and let him keep it... If only I didn’t keep trying to take it back from Him.
~With Integrity
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